How One Becomes
What One Is


⸌ Ecce Homo⸜


Wie man wind, was man ist.

나는 어떻게 본래의 내가 되는가.


Life is a Flat Circle

_reprise


“You could tell a lot about a man by the books he keeps - his tastes, his interest, his habits.”

- Walter Benjamin

 
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WALTER BENJAMIN


Every morning brings us news of the globe, and yet we are poor in noteworthy stories. This is because no event comes to us without being already shot through with explanation. In other words, by now almost nothing that happens benefits storytelling; almost everything benefits information. Actually, it is half the art of storytelling to keep a story free from explanation as one reproduces it…

The most extraordinary things, marvellous things, are related with the greatest accuracy, but the psychological connection of the event is not forced on the reader. It is left up to him to interpret things the way he understands them, and thus the narrative achieves an amplitude that information lacks.

This process of assimilation, which takes place in depth, requires a state of relaxation that is becoming rarer and rarer.

If sleep is the apogee of physical relaxation, boredom is the apogee of mental relaxation.

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Boredom is the dream bird that hatches the egg of experience.

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For storytelling is always the art of repeated stories, and this art is lost when the stories are no longer retained.

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Meaning is never found in relative independence,
as in individual words or sentences; rather,
it is in a constant state of flux

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HENRI BERGSON


Spontaneous memory is immediately perfect; time can add nothing to its image without denaturing it; it will conserve its place and its date for memory.

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On the contrary, a memory which has been learned (souvenir apprise) will escape time (sorter du temps) as soon as the lesson is learned; it will become more and more impersonal, more and more a stranger to our past life.

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We seize, in the act of perception, something which outruns perception itself.

But, then, I cannot escape the objection that there is no state of mind, however simple, which does not change every moment, since there is no consciousness without memory, and no continuation of a state without the addition, to the present feeling, of the memory of past moments. It is this which constitutes duration. Inner duration is the continuous life of a memory which prolongs the past into the present, the present either containing within it in a distinct form the ceaselessly growing image of the past, or, more profoundly, showing by its continual change of quality the heavier and still heavier load we drag behind us as we grow older. Without this survival of the past into the present there would be no duration, but only instantaneity.

What makes hope such an intense pleasure is the fact that the future, which we dispose off to our liking, appears to us at the same time under a multitude of forms, equally attractive and equally possible. Even if the most coveted of these becomes realised, it will be necessary to give up the others, and we shall have lost a great deal.

The imagination of the dreamer, isolated from the external world, reproduces with simple images, and parodies in its own way, the work that is ongoing on ideas, in the deepest regions of intellectual life.

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Art engages us to feel with it;  it engages our feelings through an experience of qualities.  What we might mistake for a growing intensity of esthetic pleasure is actually an experience of a variety of feelings. 

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Each, already announced by the one that precedes it, becomes visible and definitively eclipses the previous.  one: "What we experience, then, is change: differences in kind, and the passage from one qualitative state to another. 

Art activity becomes nothing but a means for expressing the beautiful, while the essence of the beautiful remains mysterious.  Art, however, does not operate like a physical cause.  It addresses us.  It invites us into a relation of sympathy.  We feel-with the poet, dancer, or musician by entering into The rhythms of his or her art. 

Art, then, suggests feelings to us;  it does not cause them.

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The image memory,

then, is staged as a kind of Pure Memory that only actually operates in relation to perception, which includes a certain memory of the body. The mechanism of interaction between perception and memory (and, it is a two-way street, between memory and perception) is recognition, the concrete act by which we grasp the past again in the present.

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The idea of the future, pregnant with an infinity of possibilities, is thus more fruitful than the future itself, and this is why we find more charm in hope than in possession, in dreams than in reality.

In concrete perception, memory functions in two important ways. First, it interweaves the past into the present, such that memory is practically inseparable from perception. Second, it gathers to a multiple moments of duration and contracts them into a single intuition.

To experience duration, he writes, “One must want to dream: il faut vouloir réver.” Dream is also linked to the activity of the artist, and will be identified with instinct as opposed to intelligence in Creative Evolution. Sometimes it is associated with mental alienation or madness.  

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Usually when we speak of time we think of the measurement of duration, and not of duration itself. But this duration which science eliminates, and which is so difficult to conceive and express, is what one feels and lives.

On the stage, each actor says and does only what has to be said and done; the scenes are clear-cut; the play has a beginning, a middle and an end; and everything is worked out as economically as possible with a view to an ending which will be happy or tragic. But in life, a multitude of useless things are said, many superfluous gestures made, there are no sharply-drawn situations.

Intuition, then, signifies first of all consciousness, but immediate consciousness, a vision which is scarcely distinguishable from the object seen, a knowledge which is contact and even coincidence.

The pure present is an ungraspable advance of the past devouring the future. In truth, all sensation is already memory.

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We can give things whatever names we choose and I see no great objection, I repeat, to knowledge of the mind by the mind still being called intelligence, if one insists. But then it will be necessary to specify that there are two intellectual functions, the one the inverse of the other, for mind thinks mind only in climbing back up the slope of habits acquired in contact with matter, and these habits are what one currently calls intellectual tendencies.

Above all, having attributed to his thought the power of embracing everything, he is obliged to imagine all things in terms of thought; of his aspirations, his desires, his enthusiasms he cannot ask enlightenment in a world in which everything accessible to him has been first considered by him as translatable into pure ideas. 

I say intelligence, I do not say thought, I do not say mind. Alongside of intelligence there is in effect the immediate perception by each of us of his own activity and of the conditions in which it is exercised.

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Call it what you will; it is the feeling we have of being creators of our intentions, of our decisions, of our acts, and by that, of our habits, our characters, ourselves.

I take a first step, then a second, and so on: finally, after a certain number of steps, I take a last one by which I skip ahead of the tortoise. I thus accomplish a series of indivisible acts. My course is the series of these acts. You can distinguish its parts by the number of steps it involves. But you have not the right to disarticulate it according to another law, or to suppose it articulated in another way. 

This precludes any interpretation of the memory of images as just a version of the memory lodged in the body. It thus establishes the radical independence of Pure Memory that Bergson will go on to elaborate. It can therefore activate a certain number of past images, as well as give back the echo (or reflection) of the image it has just received through sense perception. There is no real limit to this multiplicity. 

How can we say that time is space? This step of the argument is important. Bergson holds that any homogeneous-milieu should be considered as space-even time.

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Symbolic representation of the event has taken the place of the event itself.

And ultimately, once again, time has been confused with space. Bergson's position is radical. Freedom is something we can't talk about at all! We certainly cannot explain it through concepts. The moment we try to explain freedom-we eradicate it. This is because an absolute difference exists between immediate experience, which just happens, and experiences reconstructed in thought (reflective experience). The latter is represented through a spatial figure where direction is reversible; the former occurs in real duration, where time flows in only one direction.

The moment we try to explain freedom-we eradicate it. This is because an absolute difference exists between immediate experience, which just happens, and experiences reconstructed in thought (reflective experience).

The latter is represented through a spatial figure where direction is reversible; the former occurs in real duration, where time flows in only one direction.

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Our knowledge, far from being made up of a gradual association of simple elements, is the effect of a sudden dissociation: from the immensely vast field of our virtual knowledge, we have selected, in order to make it into actual knowledge, everything which concerns our action upon things; we have neglected the rest.

The intuition we refer to then bears above all upon internal duration. It grasps a succession which is not juxtaposition, a growth from within, the uninterrupted prolongation of the past into a present which is already blending into the future.

  • Sensation is the beginning of freedom (Essai). 

  • Time is a form of energy (Essai). 

  • The past: is a reality (Essai). 

  • My perception is outside my body (Matter and Memory).

  • Perception is nothing but an occasion for remembering (Matter and Memory). 

  • The same feeling, by the very fact of being repeated, is a new feeling (Essai). 

  • Memory does not consist in a regression from the present to the past, but, on the contrary, in a progress from the past to the present (Matter and Memory). 

  • Questions relative to the subject and the object should be thought as a function of time rather than space (Matter and Memory). 

  • Nothing is less than the present (Matter and Memory). 

  • Movement is quality, not quantity (Essai).  We only perceive the past (Matter and Memory). 

  • The only effect produced by feeling is the fact of having been felt (Matter and Memory). 

  • Time is invention or it is nothing at all (Essai).

“One has to be made for it, otherwise there is no small danger One will catch cold.
The ice is near, the solitude is terrible - but how peacefully all things lie in the light!
How freely One breathes! How much One feels beneath one—”



Nietzsche

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE


Nietzsche's concern with the past is a matter of delighting in its having been as it was, whatever that may have been, because it enables him to make the present so much better. He who knows how to breathe the air of my writings knows that it is an air of the heights, a robust air.

Philosophy, as I have hitherto understood and lived it, is a voluntary living in ice and high mountains everything strange and questionable in existence, all that has hitherto been excommunicated by morality.

Image and the concept, but merely endures them as accompaniments. The poems of the lyricist can express nothing that did not already lie hidden in that vast universality and absoluteness in the music that compelled him to figurative speech. Language can never adequately render the cosmic symbolism of music, because music stands in symbolic relation to the primordial contradiction and primordial pain in the heart of the primal unity, and therefore symbolises a sphere which is beyond and prior to all phenomena. Rather, all phenomena, compared with it, are merely symbols: hence language, as the organ and symbol of phenomena, can never by any means disclose the innermost heart of music; language, in its attempt to imitate it, can only be in superficial contact with music; while all the eloquence of lyric poetry cannot bring the deepest significance of the latter one step nearer to us.

Water is sufficient...the spirit moves over water.

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I fail to remember ever having made an effort — no trace of struggle is detectable in my life, I am the opposite of a heroic nature. To “want” something, to “strive” for something, to have an “end,” a “desire” in mind —

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I know none of this from my experience. Even at this moment I look out upon my future — a broad future! — as upon a smooth sea: no desire ripples upon it.

Not in the least do I want anything to be different from what it is; I myself do not want to be any different ... But thus I have always lived. And how does one basically recognise good development? In that a well-developed man does our senses good: that he is carved from wood which is hard, delicate, and sweet-smelling, all at the same time.

To 'want' something, to 'strive' after something to have an 'aim' or a 'wish' in my mind — I know none of this from experience. Even at this moment I look out upon my future — a distant future! as upon a calm sea: no sigh of longing makes a ripple on its surface.

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“On this perfect day, when everything has become ripe and not only the grapes are growing brown, a ray of sunlight has fallen on to my life: I looked behind me, I looked before me, never have I seen so many and such good things together.”

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How should I not be grateful to my whole life? – And so I tell myself my life. Here where I am speaking of the recreations of my life, I need to say a word to express my gratitude for that which of all things in it has refreshed me by far the most profoundly and cordially. This was without any doubt my intimate association. 

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At this point I can no longer avoid actually answering the question how one becomes what one is. And with that I touch on the masterpiece in the art of self-preservation – of selfishness... For assuming that the task, the vocation, the destiny of the task exceeds the average measure by a significant degree, there would be no greater danger than to catch sight of oneself with this task. That one becomes what one is presupposes that one does not have the remotest idea what one is. From this point of view even the blunders of life – the temporary side paths and wrong turnings, the delays, the 'modesties', the seriousness squandered on tasks which lie outside the task - have their own meaning and value. 

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Expressed morally: love of one's neighbour, living for others and other things can be the defensive measure for the preservation of the sternest selfishness. This is the exceptional case in which I, contrary to my rule and conviction, take the side of the 'selfless' drives: here they work in the service of selfishness, self-cultivation. 

The soul which possesses the longest ladder and can descend the deepest,

the most spacious soul, which can run and stray and roam the farthest into itself, the most necessary soul, which out of joy hurls itself-into chance,

the existing soul which plunges into becoming, the possessing soul which wants to partake in desire and longing

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The soul fleeing from itself which retrieves itself in the widest sphere, the wisest soul, to which foolishness speaks sweetest, the soul that loves itself the most, in which all things have their current and counter-current and ebb and flow.

The imperative 'become hard', the deepest certainty that all creators are bard, is the actual mark of a Dionysian nature. - The good - cannot create, they are always the beginning of the end - they crucify him who writes new values on new law-tables, they sacrifice the future to them selves, they crucify the whole human future!

The good – have always been the beginning of the end... And whatever harm the world-calumniators may do, the harm the good do is the most harmful harm.

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The genius of the heart who makes everything loud and self-satisfied fall silent and teaches it to listen, who smooths rough souls and gives them a new desire to savour - the desire to lie still as a mirror, that the deep sky may mirror itself in them 11 has flowed most abundantly. 

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The body is inspired: let us leave the ‘soul' out of it… I could often have been seen dancing; at that time I could walk for seven or eight hours in the mountains without a trace of tiredness. 

The highest and the lowest forces of human nature, the sweetest, most frivolous and most fearsome stream forth out of one fountain with immortal certainty. Until then one does not know what height, what depth is; one knows even less what truth is.

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There is no moment in this revelation of truth which would have been anticipated or divined by even one of the greatest. There is no wisdom. no consciousness is a surface – has to be kept clear of any of the great imperatives. 

Even the grand words, the grand attitudes must be guarded against! All of them represent a danger that the instinct will ‘understand itself’ too early-. In the meantime the organising 'idea' destined to rule grows and grows in the depths - it begins to command, it slowly leads back from side paths and wrong turnings,

it prepares individual qualities and abilities which will one day prove themselves indispensable as means to achieving the whole –

It constructs the ancillary capacities one after the other before it gives any hint of the dominating task, of the 'goal', 'objective', 'meaning'. – Regarded from this side my life is simply wonderful.

 

Why I am a Destiny.

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